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April 2, 2012 / Best Jokes

Birthday jokes for men – you must know.

birthday jokes for men

Here is a collection of funny birthday jokes for men, they are best funny jokes. There are plenty of funny jokes that actually make fun of becoming older. This collection of humours jokes and on liners will help you to entertain people during someone’s birthday.

Here are few important things to remember when telling a joke. Make sure that your joke is not too long or you are risking becoming boring. Best birthday jokes form men are short.

Do not tell too many jokes at a time; it will become boring and monotonous.

So enjoy this collection of best and funny jokes and one-liners for men.

 Birthday jokes for men:

1. Expensive birthday present

A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday.
He says, “So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?”
She says, “Bernie, I want a divorce.” He says, “I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”

 

See also funny quotes about men.

2. A man asked his wife, “What would you most like for your birthday?” 

She said, “I’d love to be ten again.”

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park – the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was.

She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning.

Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets.

At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.

Her husband leaned over and asked, “Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?”

One eye opened and she groaned, “Actually, honey, I meant dress size!”

 

3. Something happened to me yesterday

Something happened to me yesterday that will never, ever, happen to me again.
How can you be so sure?
I was 10 years old yesterday.

 

4. What’s the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary?

What’s the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary?
Get married on his birthday.

 

5. How old is your wife? 

How old is your wife?
Approaching forty.
From which direction?

6. Secret of my long life

It was Grandpa Jones’ 100th birthday and he was still in perfect health. At his birthday party he was asked how he managed to live so long and stay so fit. 

He explained “I put my long life down to spending so much time out of doors. 
I’ve been in the open air, day after day, rain or shine, for the last 75th years.” 

“How do you manage to keep up such a rigorous fitness regime?” we asked. 

“It’s simple” he said. “When I married my wife 75 years ago, we both made solemn pledge on our wedding 
night. We agreed that whenever we ever had a fight, whoever was proved wrong would go outside and take 
long walk.”

We hope that this collection of birthday jokes for men will entertain you guest during party.

See also funny quotes about men.

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